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There's no hard and fast rule about the age a girl must wear an abaya. Traditionally, girls must start wearing the abaya before they hit puberty. You will see some girls as young as seven wearing one in more traditional, old-world areas, but often that's partly just because that's what all the women in their family wear and they want to look like their older sisters or whatever. Also there are some cute little girl abayas that they might want to wear because they're pretty.
People will be a bit more tolerant of expats, and it really depends on you and how much you want your child to fit in and not be stared at.
Take a look at Women in Saudi Arabia for more info.
say 16 or 17 is better.
Take care.Bye